Valentine’s Day, the holiday of love, has come and gone, but what can we do to show love and keep it going all year round?!?
I have many wise friends who have been married for decades who say not to make a big fuss over the major holidays, (to include my parents when they were married). Instead, we should strive to make each and every day something to celebrate. Sometimes it’s the little things someone can do that shows best that they care or different ways we show that we considered someone through our actions.
A quote that I try to be mindful of is “what can I do today to make my partner’s day easier and feel loved”, – Dr. Phil. If this becomes a part of our daily thinking that we begin to put into practice, just imagine the changes you will see in your relationship, (which can be applied to any person in your life).
As with anything, you have to be intentional and keep at it to form a routine. Perhaps there is something we or our mates used to do on a regular basis, that faded away over time. People wonder if it’s okay to make requests of one another and I say ABSOLUTELY!!! We have to get to a place and get comfortable with being able to make a request while also having requests made of us.
If there is something that you have grown accustomed to over time, that is no longer occurring, then make the request for the effort or action to be started up again. You know that your mate has the capacity and potential to do it, as they once did it before. Similar to that of sex, routine kind gestures are the first to go, when communication and needs are not being met.
It is OKAY to have expectations and hold one another accountable to actions that help us get through our day(s). When our mate meets our needs and we reciprocate with something they appreciate, that’s when you can experience intimacy outside of the bedroom. Just imagine experiencing moments of foreplay throughout the day, it builds up the anticipation, making your time in the bedroom that much easier and better.
Take Action:
– Start fresh: perhaps you or your mate holds a grudge and one of you feels like they are always initiating and giving in. Begin with a clean slate and believe that with being a good example, reciprocation will follow.
– Make a request: introduce the idea to your mate and make the request two parts. Your mate must make a request of you and also share something they realize they have missed doing for you and put back into the routine. You share your ways to reciprocate as well. If this is something new for you both, then show your vulnerable sides and say what your needs are to put them into action.
– Make a pact: This works best when you have good intentions and can be relied upon to hold up your end of the deal. Share with one another that while you will offer grace, you can also hold one another accountable to these expectations. Become each other’s personal training coach of love.
Let’s make everyday a holiday and worth celebrating!!! 💋
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