Avoid Relationship Pandemic

~Happy HUMP Day~

Our Weekly Stats

Round 3 | Day 17

🍑: 3 | 🍆: 0

💜Connection Level: We are in love, and have made efforts to address lingering issues in our own relationship. This has resulted in some tough talks and even some tears, but also increased connection and trust between us. This dovetails into what we’d like to discuss…

We recently saw an article that, like every other article right now, was about the effects of COVID-19. But these were indirect effects, as it discussed a 50% increase in calls to divorce lawyers during the quarantine. This is sad on a number of levels, but one clear thing is that these feelings of wanting to leave the marriage developed well before our recent pandemic.

Part of the motivation in creating this blog is seeing this process play out for so many people- small slights growing into resentment which grows into the hurt and pain that can forever damage a relationship. If these issues can be addressed earlier, and efforts made to maintain connection through more difficult times, then hopefully people will not feel the need to end their marriage, (or relationships), as soon as they are with their significant other for two consecutive days.

Make use of this opportunity of being around each other to make your relationship be what you dreamed, or work on the things about yourself that are keeping you from achieving the happiness you wish you had. This unique time will likely not happen again in our lifetimes – hopefully – so do all you can to come out of it stronger and more open to experience love.

It is simple enough to schedule a vacation away with one another, in an effort to explore, share in something new and get away for some self-care and one on one time. You may feel, “We can tolerate a getaway together for a week, no big deal. The distractions of an adventure, fine dining, pampering experiences, all within a romantic environment, what is not to love?” This time in quarantine will be the true test, however, with no official deadline as to when we can return back to reality as we have known it. Many countries and states have increased their safety precautions with a “shelter-in-place” status. When faced with having to exist in the same space with your mate, while possibly still having the demands of working from home, and perhaps caring for children by homeschooling and entertaining them, your relationship will be pushed to the max. How will you show up for one another and what are you willing to confront to begin working through?!?

– Discuss Fears: either relating to the current state of the world or even the effects on your relationship and what you might anticipate;

– Reserve Judgement: allow the time and space for one another to discuss feelings, whether it be anger, sadness, or even loneliness. Foster a healthy environment, where anything can be brought to the table and nothing is off limits. Creating a welcoming environment and safe space will allow for vulnerable moments and deepening your connection;

– Be creative: when your freedom is limited on getting out and about, find ways to do things together, whether it be house projects, online cooking classes, game night, an impromptu dance party, creating some art together to display in the home or exercising together. Change up the routine and enjoy in something together;

– Avoid Repetitive Patterns: using accusatory language or behavior can be off-putting. Focus and put real energy into changing the cycle that you default into whenever addressing issues. Speak of your concerns from a place of your perspective and how certain things make you feel with clear examples;

– Practice Empathy: extend grace when going about your day(s) when interacting with one another. Refrain from defaulting to accusatory language and blaming behavior. Determine how best you will want to be treated and receive feedback about yourself and offer the same. If it is determined that a discussion with your mate needs to be initiated in order to layout the ground rules, then DO IT. Learn how best to interact with one another during this period of time as well as going forward, then take the time to have those necessary and hard conversations.

Much of how we treat one another can be as simple as making a mental shift. You have the ability to CHOOSE to speak and react differently. Get to a place where you both can agree and trust that your mate has good intentions. Trying to make an effort to work through issues and effective ways to communicate can make all the difference. Allow this uncertain time to #refrainthepain and view this as an OPPORTUNITY to nurture your relationship. During times of uncertainty, it is never a wise choice to make a rash decision. So, do the necessary work to get your relationship on track, COMMUNICATE and play with danger – cross the six foot line to kiss and make out!!!💋

Check out this article from CNN regarding: Can Your Marriage Survive the Coronavirus?

#Ho30 #Ho30Challenge